When in middle school or high school, one of the most awkward experiences involves going through sexual education. But on the bright side, such awkwardness led to some of the best sex-ed questions that highlight the tall task of teaching aspects of sexual maturity to the least mature people on the planet. Students’ test answers speak to that immaturity, but sometimes the teacher might be to blame for sex-ed confusion; if their strange sex-ed video or diagram is presented in a ridiculous or confusing way, a teacher should expect their students to come at them with equally bizarre questions. Sex ed, like sex itself, requires a give-and-take and cooperation on both sides, only in sex ed the climax is watching live birth while in sex climax is… just that.
Accidental Sperm Donor
Well, kid, the answer is no, although she’ll be pissed you made a mess of the bathroom she probably just cleaned.
Hot Tub Trouble
“‘If I am in a hot tub with a guy and he ejaculates, can I get pregnant?’
‘Okay, what if I’m in a hot tub with 50 guys and they all ejaculate at the exact same time, then can I get pregnant?’
Learning To Multiply
To solve this logic puzzle, Chronoblivion responded with “No, you’re multiplying by zero. If one is fertile the result is still zero. Negative means somebody dies when you have sex.”
Hopefully this clears things up.
In response, office_procrastinate commented with “I feel like the penis would just absorb the air therefore making you penis even bigger.”
These are questions you have when you think with your penis.
But in all honesty the teacher should have pressed this kid on the type of cheese involved. No one wants missionary with a side of Roquefort breath.
Wash, Rinse, Don’t Repeat
The answer? Shaggorama said it’s “probably same reason it hurts in your eyes. Shampoo irritates mucous membranes.”
In case you wondered, the urethra is a mucus membrane. Learn something new every day!
Since people wanted to know, ToesocksandFlipflops said, “Sorry for raining on the parade but it doesn’t shoot out. Milk comes out all over the nipple, so it’s not like rubber nipples with one hole in them. Source: I’m a mom who hard her nipples pierced and breastfed.”
Fun fact is that many women can shoot their breast milk, but it has nothing to do with nipple piercings.
But foxymcfox took issue with point b, saying “It’s not really tighter though. Sure, the opening is, but that’s like saying a room is tiny because the door is built for hobbits.” Touché, my friend.
A Hairy Situation
“Girl: ‘If you put cum in your hair does it make it shinier?’
Teacher: ‘What boy told you that?'”
Hullian111 responded with, “Ech. I hate the feeling of it on my pubes, like hell would I have that in my hair.”
“Male Student: ‘I heard cum tastes like almonds?’
Female Teacher: ‘I don’t know, I never had almonds.'”
Perhaps the only way to find out is by stepping out to Whole Foods and grabbing a gallon of almond milk.
O Holy Night
The user added that this question came before, “an hour long lecture from the priest. Totally destroyed any chance of following the lesson plan or anything that day. Catholic school was a blast.”
“Kid: ‘What happens if you pee in the girl?’
Teacher: ‘She’ll probably hit you.'”
TheGreyMage responded with, “Our teacher explained this away by saying that you can’t urinate whilst erect. I was lied to!”
The key here, boys and girls, is to stay gold, not go gold.
“‘Can you actually stick your dick in an ear and have ear sex, you know, like in Family Guy?’
Teacher: ‘No, what’s Family Guy? Also why would you want to do that? Anyway, the hole is too small and you’d puncture your ear drum. Don’t try to do it.’
Some sound advice.
Bag It Up
In response, Envytheirgreed said, “Well cows do have uterodes too.”
So the answer is, sort of?