Things Everyone Goes Through While Sick

Have you ever noticed how illness follows a very predictable pattern? No? Just wait until you scroll through these funny photos of what it’s like to be sick! Because we all understand the inevitable beginning, middle, and thank-God-it’s-over stages of sickness, and they go a little something like this: There you are, minding your own business, when suddenly a phantom scratchiness starts to appear in your throat. Though you try your best to ignore it, the fun only spreads to include a raging headache and horrible achiness you can’t explain.
Before you know it, you find yourself on Google typing in your symptoms, only to reveal the horrible truth- you’re dying and there’s nothing you can do about it. Thus begins the stage featuring your humble requests for constant sympathy and attention from all those brave enough to come within ten feet of you. It’s only after a few long, grueling days of grappling with ridiculously hard to open medication and Netflix binging that you finally get better and vow never to go on WebMD ever again.

That Tissue Pyramid That Mysteriously Appears by Your Perch

The “Woooooo Nyquil!” Stage

The Destruction of False Hollywood Hope Phase

The Slow but Sure Recovery

Those Constant Dreams of Better Days

The Age-Old Pill Wrapper Conundrum

The Moment You Wonder Just How Far the Universe Is Planning to Take This

The “Woe Is Me” Phase

The Revenge Phase

The Medication-Induced Wise Sage Stage

The Sum of All Fears Stage

The “to Call in or Not to Call In” Internal Debate

Those Tiny Victories That Keep You Sane

When the Virus Bitch-Slaps Your Give-a-Damn

When Your Significant Other Asks if They Can Get You Anything

That Intense Longing for Soup and a Hug

The “F*ck This Stuffy Nose” Momentary Second Wind

That Horrible Moment When You Give in and Google Your Symptoms

The Momentary Panic Point

The Silver Netflix Lining

The Horrible Loneliness of the Contagious

That Panic-Stricken Moment When You’re Sure You’ve Killed Us All

Those Childlike Needs That Pop Back up Like Weeds in Spring

When Everything Tastes Like Bleh

The “Is a Little Consideration Too Much to Ask?” Phase

The Revelation of Your Inner Emo

When You Tell Your Roommate You’re Too Sick to Go Drinking

The Sympathy Seeking Stage

The Medicinal Alcoholism Phase